Understanding you makes me ignore the things I’ve understood about myself. Accepting you leads me to excuse not getting what I deserve, as I’ve chosen to understand you. Guiding you to be better leaves me lost in the woods without a map, as I have chosen to forge my own path throughout it all. Trying not to hurt you by biting my tongue, especially when I need to speak painful truths, ends up hurting me instead.

Should I reform you? Should I sign up for years in hell for a glimpse of hope that I might reach heaven? Should I stay here until you become the person you and I truly wanted, or will I give up just in time for you to give another girl the version of you that I begged for?

Should I sit here, grateful that for once I had you, even though I cry every day remembering how I wanted to be loved? Remembering the flowers I would never receive, the silly questions I would never hear, the hand that would never be held, the compliments I would never get, and many more wishes that for a moment became reality—only to vanish in the blink of an eye, to be revisited only in my dreams?

Am I to hold onto memories that haunt more than they heal? Should I cling to the shadow of love, hoping it might someday solidify into something I can touch, something as real as the pain I feel now? Or do I let go, release the could-haves and should-haves, and step into a future unburdened by the weight of unmet expectations?

Can I find the strength to start anew, to redefine what love means on my own terms, without sacrificing my needs for the sake of preserving a bond that constantly tests my resolve? Perhaps it’s time to stop questioning whether I should reshape you or salvage what was, and instead ask if for once could I be selfish and prioritize my betterment and happiness instead of someone else’s.

To love Peter is to tame a lightning, to embrace the wind, exhilarating yet for once and for all I do admit it chills the soul when the sun dips and reality beckons. To be met with flowers in hand, to be called pretty until pretty is when I look at the mirror, to see the clear skies and bask in sunlight without fear of getting struck or rained on.

I knew you tried to change the ending
Peter losing Wendy